Is Your Office Haunted?
Some supernatural creatures might be closer to you than you think! Read on to find out if these creatures are lurking around your office.
Halloween is here! And you know what that means. Yes. Monsters, ghosts and all things scary. This Halloween you don’t need to go trick-or-treating to find yourself stumbling upon these creepy beings. In fact, there’s a good chance that your office is haunted by the same creatures we are so afraid of.
The thing is, not all supernatural creatures come from paranormal phenomenon, they may be just ordinary humans like everyone else that may be just sitting right next to you, freely roaming, haunting and wreaking havoc in your work space.
So is your office haunted by these nasty ghouls?
Also known as “the intrusive co-worker” the mummy is the worst person you can share your table or cubicle with. This employee doesn’t know the meaning of personal space and has a really bad habit of touching your stuff. Most extreme cases include:“I’ll borrow his fork and not wash it” or “Hmmmm… let me take a peek on his personal memo” kind of way. This sneaky employee would often make a mess out of your office desk when you are not around and can cause you to turn into one yourself.
How to deal with the mummy: For most cases, mummies are not all that harmful. But if the intrusion becomes too extreme, you’ll need to address this office creep directly. Be careful not to sound confrontational. Instead, start talking to the mummy in a calm and respectful manner starting with “If you don’t mind…” and ending it with “Thank you.”
The Office Ghost
Missing food in the pantry fridge? A mysterious bite in your sandwich? Or the sudden disappearance of a few things from your workstation? These are just some signs that your office is haunted by a ghost. Often referred to as “the office thief”, this ghostly co-worker is a step above the intrusive mummy. Not only do they touch and mess up your stuff like the mummy, but the office ghost has a really bad habit of taking other employees things without permission. The most common case is “Hey can i borrow your pen?” AND YOU’LL NEVER GET IT BACK. We hear a lot of stories about office ghosts and you won’t even be aware of it until you become their victim.
How to deal with the office ghost: There are a lot of ways to deal with an office ghost. While others choose to catch it on their own, the safest way would be to consult a medium (a.k.a. the HR) to investigate the case. Another way is to always label your items. Or sneak a laxative into one of your sandwiches to expose the horrible office ghost.
Vampiric employees and managers lurk in the not-so-dark halls and corridors of every office building, searching for their next victim. They prey on innocent and well-meaning employees who are still filled with excitement and enthusiasm with their work. Workplace vampires, for whatever reason, seem to be focused in drawing every single drop of positive emotion and energy you have- be it happiness, optimism or excitement. Most extreme cases includes: Arrowing you to do their jobs. They also mastered the art of tai-chi, pushing away all responsibilities and diverting them to you. Vampires, tai chi masters, call them what you want, you should never wait until they completely drain the joy and happiness of working out of you.
How to deal with the vampire: Unleash your inner Buffy the vampire slayer and slay every office vampire that comes your way. Arm yourself not with a wooden stake but with enough courage and conviction to endure every emotionally draining situation your boss or colleague throws at you.
The Workplace Witch
The very nasty, very unpleasant workplace witch is always brewing up a pot of office gossip and lies. On the outside the look seemingly harmless and well-meaning, but beware should you earn their displeasure. You’ll often hear workplace witches whispering, chanting and casting their curses in pantries and in restrooms which serve as their shrines. Their curses come in the form of nasty office rumours, damaging lies as well as back-stabbing and passive-aggressive behaviour.
How to deal with the workplace witch: It may be good to clarify things in an emotionally healthy way by objectively resolving conflicts, and hopefully dispelling all curses the workplace witch has put on you. Also, Never confront a witch on your own because it rarely works. In fact, in most cases, the curses will keep on coming and spreading. If all else fails, you’ll actually need the help of an expert witch hunter (yes, the HR) to find and confront a witch.
One minute he’s a pleasant and mild-mannered colleague, the next minute, he is seething and baring his teeth, ready to lunge at you and rip your face off. Werewolves are ticking time bombs and are highly volatile. While they are generally good-natured, when the full moon comes or when something really stresses them out, they instantly transform into angry and aggressive monsters who are fully capable of inflicting physical and emotional wounds even to their closest friends and colleagues. However, after their bout of aggression, workplace werewolves seem to sufferfrom amnesia and are most likely to forget whatever it is they did in the lycanthropic state.
What to do: Werewolves transform during full moon, so watch out for whatever their full moon is. Their trigger can be their bosses, the stress they’re suffering with work or simply any specific thing that you do or say. In case you are not able to determine their trigger, the best you can do is to arm yourself with silver bullets (a.k.a. enough tolerance and patience) to pacify the workplace werewolf.
The Working Dead
The most common office monster of them all, the working dead is arguably the most lethal one. Zombies are slow, unresponsive and highly unproductive which makes them a liability in the workplace. They also move in herds making their brain-numbing existence a threat to every company, organization or business. The working dead poses a threat to everyone. They are highly contagious which means anyone in the office can be infected. Also, they want to kill and eat out your still-beating heart.
How to deal with the working dead: Be mindful of your surrounding – should you walk into a room where someone you’re pretty sure is a zombie is hanging out with some other people and they all stop talking – beware zombie apocalypse. Since zombies really just want to chow down on you, share as little sensitive information with them as you can. Always be honest and if the zombie is building a “pack”, maybe your best option is to create a vaccine filled with optimism and positive energy and inject it to patient zero, or the pack leader, or just any of them and see if you can outlast the zombie apocalypse.
So, tell us how many of these creepy creatures actually live in your office? Is your office haunted?